Recipe Revision: Caramel Apple Martini

This was on point. For realz.

When I post links on Friday, they are usually some interesting technique, tip, or piece of gear that I want to try. When I post recipes, I have not always tried them before posting but am interested in what they have going on and think maybe they are worth a shot. 

This was the case with the caramel apple martini I posted this past Friday. I posted it and planned to make it Saturday. And I did.

And it was awful. 

Awful like already-drunk-sorority-girl-shots awful. 

Even when I went to buy the two boozes for the drink, the liquor store lady looked at me and said, “Um…are you putting these two together?”

So while apple vodka and butterscotch schnapps make perfect sense on paper, on the palate they are cloying, nauseatingly sweet. Did it taste like a caramel apple? Yes, but with an extra coating of syrup.

Envisioning the headache and illness that would occur were I to finish the drink, I dumped it out. 

I also had yoga in a winery (with a wine tasting) on Sunday morning, which makes for the booziest weekend (with the beer at a party and the glass of wine with a friend Saturday night) I have had planned in awhile.

Sunday I vowed to do better. For the three people that regularly read the blog, I made another recipe, one that is not GODAWFULLY SWEET but still tastes like  a caramel apple. Don’t get me wrong: it’s sweet. If you have issues with sugar, stay away. Just sip your whiskey neat and watch everyone else play. It’s cool.

But if you want a drink that acts like dessert, tastes like a boozy fresh apple slathered in caramel, this drink’s for you.

I am listing the ingredients in ratios because A) I used a shot glass to measure with, and your shot glass may be larger or smaller, and B) I am newly obsessed with ratios due to the book Ratio by Michael Ruhlman (review later this week!).

And, for those of you who would take umbrage with Buffalo Trace being used in such a fashion, stuff it. Julia Child said don’t cook with anything you wouldn’t drink, and I am following that credo here. Life’s to short to drink rail bourbon, in any form. 

At least I didn’t use the Pappy.


(Full disclosure: I did also make this with one part Tito’s vodka instead of bourbon, and that was okay, too. I like the slightly fuller, richer taste of the drink with the bourbon, but if you have some good vodka in the house, that works, too.)

Caramel Apple Martini (serves 1)

One part Buffalo Trace bourbon 
One part Dekuyper Buttershots (butterscotch schnapps)
Two parts fresh apple cider (no sugar added. Jesus.)

Mix all ingredients with ice in a shaker and shake until very, very cold. Pour into a martini glass and garnish with a  fresh apple slice. You could also rim the martini glass with caramel and dip it into chopped peanuts if you want some protein with your drink.

Give it a try and let me know what you think.

And if anyone wants a bottle of Smirnoff Sour Apple Vodka with one shot missing, just let me know.

Quick Links: Fall Cocktails

This cocktail is called a Hanky Panky. For realz. (image source)

It’s the most wonderful time of year.

Decorative gourd season is in full swing, yes, but I am talking about delicious, satisfying, spice-filled fall cocktail season. 

No, they are not all apple or pumpkin-spiced, but those certainly have their place on this list. Here are delicious cocktails to try as the leaves come a-tumblin’ down.

Jamaican Coffee: While this link purports to have been written in the summer, in my book, boozy after-dinner coffee is a full-frontal-fall experience. Feel free to play with ratios, depending on if it’s a school night or not.

Caramel Apple Martini: I don’t give a rat’s ass if this recipe makes me a girl. I LOVE CARAMEL APPLES. I could roll around in them. This drink is dangerous for me because it is SO GOOD.

SEE? YOU MADE ME USE ALL CAPS.

Tantes Medicine: Because fall means back to school and the entry into a festering petri dish of germy children, one must have a go-to healing cocktail. This is that. Feel free to change up the tea if Earl Grey is not your thing. Bergamot isn’t for everyone.

Chipotle Cherry Bourbon Smash: This beautiful beverage comes courtesy of Bit By A Fox, a website all about drinking and drinks. I appreciated a well-crafted libation, and this cocktail fits the bill. I made some brandied cherries back in late June when sour cherries were at their luscious peak, and now is a good time to see how they are doing. 

I feel like I might just spend all weekend trying out these cocktails. A hurricane is as good an excuse as any to get loaded, I suppose. Might as well do it with a fancy cocktail. 

What’s your fall beverage of choice?

Waffles: Easy Like Sunday Morning. And Afternoon

Pillowy goodness, all Sunday long. (image source)

I don’t know what it is about Sunday.

When I wake up on Sunday, I have no plans past coffee. The paper shows up on the doorstep, I ignore my computer, let the dogs out, and drink coffee on the back porch with them as they greet the world.

This is the Sabbath to me. A true day of rest that begins with simple pleasures. The Teenager and I used to turn all screens off on Sundays, but with school in full effect (and football season underway), that’s not always possible. So we aim for a minimum of social media and focus on the real world.

In general, all of the striving and stress and work of the week is done for me, and I look forward to a long day of nothing.

Except waffles.

Pancakes and muffins are for Saturdays, but Sunday means waffles.

Crispy on the outside, soft and steamy on the inside. I eat the first one off the iron with my hands before the lid is even closed on the second one. Drenched in maple syrup, spread with Nutella, or oozing with homemade apple butter. Sometimes, truthfully, delightfully plain. It is brunch-y goodness.

But here’s my recent discovery: play your cards right, and you can eat waffles all day long. One recipe, minor modifications, and you have brunch and football snacks all in one. 

Regular sweet waffles in the morning with whatever toppings make you feel warm and fuzzy inside.

Then in the afternoon? What about the afternoon?

Chicken and waffles, friend.

Someone has actually looked into the history of chicken and waffles, but all you really need to know is this: it is pretty much the best thing you can put in your face on a Sunday afternoon. I like mine with a fried chicken breast (easier to eat, and ease is the rule. Purists insist on the bone. I do not.), a copious drizzle of honey-sriracha sauce, and pickled banana peppers or onions or maybe an apple slaw with vinegar and jalapeno

None of these things take long to make. Five minutes, max, made while the waffles are cooking.

Easy like Sunday morning. And afternoon. As it should be.

Basic waffles

As ever, this recipe is gluten-free, but you can certainly use gluten-packed regular all-purpose flour if you’d like. 

Ingredients

2 cups gluten-free all-purpose flour blend
1/2 tsp. salt
1 T sugar (use 2 T if you are skipping the savory recipe)
3 tsp. baking powder
1 1/2 cups milk
2 eggs, beaten
4 T oil (you can use butter, melted and cooled, but oil is easier)
1 tsp vanilla (sweet version only)

In a medium bowl, mix the first four ingredients (the dry). In a small bowl, combine the last four ingredients (including vanilla if you are only having sweet waffles) and mix until totally combined. Add the wet to dry ingredients and stir until they are no longer lumpy.  I use a whisk and beat out any remaining frustrations from the week. #Smile #Breathe

SAVORY VARIATION

At this point, if you are planning on waffles for brunch and chicken and waffles for football snacks, move half of the waffle batter to a separate container and add 2 T chopped chives or scallions (chives give a less intense zing) and a generous grind or three of black pepper. 

Optional: up to one cup of grated cheese of your choosing. Cheese for me is gilding the lily, so I wouldn’t use it for chicken and waffles. Maybe with a burger and a fried egg. 

Cook the waffles according to the directions on your waffle maker (they all vary, so me giving directions for mine is pointless. You know your own tools, so go with your instincts on this one). Cook the sweet waffles first, then the savory. In my waffle maker, this makes six to eight waffles, depending on how diligent I am with getting equal amounts ladled for each waffle.

When it’s time for chicken and waffles, here are a few tips:

  • Set up a breading station. Pat the chicken breasts dry. Dip into cornstarch, then a beaten egg, then a mixture of gluten-free all-purpose flour (or almond meal is delicious here) that is seasoned with salt and pepper. Let sit in the ‘fridge while the oil heats.
  • Keep frying oil at 350 degrees. This ensures a crisp coating AND cooked chicken.
  • A medium-sized chicken breast takes between ten and 15 minutes to cook. I am not above cutting one open to check. I find taking an internal temperature to be a messy and dangerous proposition, so I do a visual check.

Serve these with a sauce that is equal parts honey and sriracha, or try a sauce of yogurt, Dijon mustard, and a touch of honey. Or drizzle the whole thing with maple syrup. #YourChoice

What’s your Sunday go-to for brunch and football?

Risotto: A Meditation

Become one with the spoon. (Image source)

In a twist that will surprise no one, I love risotto. Which is sort of strange because I don’t have it that often, but when I do I wonder why I don’t have it Every. Single. Night. 

I guess I forget about risotto as a dinner option, reaching instead for pasta or long-grain rice and the rice cooker.  #Easy

But here’s the thing: risotto is also very, very easy.

Deceptively simple, even.

That silky sauce that appears as you stir and stir and stir. 

Ignore those silly people who say you don’t have to stir. I have tried this, letting it sit and stirring “occasionally,” but the cooking experience is not the same, and worse, the risotto is not the same. Plus this: it’s okay to take 15 minutes to yourself. Blame it on the risotto. 

Remember this:

When you have time, meditate for 15 minutes. When you don’t have time, meditate for an hour.” ~Zen saying~

Alternately, take those 15 minutes and make them your Zen-loving bitch by multi-tasking a crisp glass of wine, a little meditative stirring, and a delicious dinner at the end.” ~Me~

The decadent finish of butter. The tiny crunch in the very center of each grain of arborio rice, true al dente.

Easy.

Use fresh, seasonal ingredients. Make your own stock (or buy it if you must, but be picky). Don’t forget the wine (in the pot and in the chef).

Free, Loose, And Easy Risotto (serves 4-6)

Mise en place, baby. Do it like you own it.

First, soffrito. This can be any combination of the following (but is at least the first): chopped onion, garlic cloves, leeks, shallots, carrot. Chop small (carrot, onion, shallot, celery), slice thinly (leek, white part only), or mince (garlic).

Next, measure your arborio rice, two cups.

Heat six to eight cups of stock. Use chicken, vegetable, beef, veal, seafood (so delicious with the seafood variation below).

Pour the wine. Half a cup of dry white wine for the risotto, a full glass for the chef. You can also use dry vermouth and pour yourself a different cocktail (any bourbon cocktail will do, but The Expat is lovely, especially with the seafood or squash risotto below. And because BOURBON.)

Salt and pepper should be within easy reach, as should a finishing generous tablespoon of butter. You will need some olive oil, the good kind, because with so few ingredients quality matters.

Basic method

Heat several tablespoons of olive oil in a sauté pan. Add your soffrito and sauté until onions are translucent.

Add the arborio rice and toast, stirring, until each grain browns slightly and becomes covered with a glorious sheen of oil. Add more oil if you need it. Don’t skimp.

Settle in. Turn on the radio. Sip your cocktail.

Add the 1/2 cup of wine to the pot. Stir until the wine begins to disappear. Happy rice.

Begin to add your warmed stock, one ladle at time. Stir. When each ladle of stock is nearly absorbed (but don’t let it dry out), add another ladle. Stir. Repeat. Stir.

This is when meditation begins. As you add each ladle of stock, bubbles hiss and pop and steam rises. The rice swells with joy and dances in the pan. I sink into a pattern of stirring, swirling around the sides with my spoon in a clockwise pattern, occasionally darting through the middle.

You will know it is nearly done when your Teenaged Daughter crawls out of the cave of her room and hovers over your shoulder.

No teenagers at home? Look for the rice to slow down its rate of absorption. There will be a lingering creaminess to the sauce, and each grain will be nearly cooked all the way through except for the tiniest bit of bite in the center. 

Don’t guess. TASTE.

When the risotto has the texture of something far more complicated than it is, remove from the heat and stir in the butter. Add salt and pepper. Taste. 

Serve in bowls with cracked black pepper and fresh Parmesan. Not the crap in the green can. What are we: animals?

Simple.

If you feel a bit more complicated, the following can be easily made with a minimum of fuss.

Shrimp/Scallop Risotto: Sauté eight ounces each of cleaned shelled shrimp and scallops in olive oil, then remove from the pan. Proceed with a soffrito of onion, and celery. Use seafood stock for the risotto, and finish with fresh chopped parsley.

Butternut Squash and Sage Risotto: Peel, seed, and cut a one-pound (or a little more) butternut squash into 1/2″  cubes. Add butternut squash into a soffrito of onion, celery, and one clove of garlic and proceed with the recipe. Towards the end, before the butter, stir in one tablespoon chopped fresh sage. Finish as usual. 

Mushroom Pancetta Risotto: Add a sprig of rosemary to your warming stock (any kind of stock will do, but you will not use the rosemary in the actual risotto). Sauté four ounces of pancetta until crispy, then remove from the pan. Add 12 ounces of wild mushrooms (your choice) and cook in the fat of the pancetta (don’t crowd the pan or they will not brown. They will steam). Remove from the pan and proceed with onion, garlic, carrot soffrito.

What is your favorite kitchen meditation?











Friday Links: Provisions

Squirreling away some nuts.

I don’t know if it is the season change or the fact that our ‘fridge and cupboards look like we are two months past an apocalyptic event, but I just dropped $300 at Costco.

Yes, I now have lunchbox snacks until February.

Yes, I bought dog food, which always jacks up the total.

However.

We are only two people in this house. How much food could we possibly need?

$300 worth, apparently, not including the other $80 that I dropped at Giant directly after, and the $40-50 I will spend at the farmer’s market on Saturday.

So this week’s post is all about provisions: what you need for a well-stocked pantry, a few tips for the bar, and how to do it all without taking on a second mortgage.

Essential Spices For Indian Food: Against all odds, I love Indian food. I have zero experience cooking it, though. My first attempt at tandoori chicken was really an overcooked piece of meat with cumin paste. My pantry is well-stocked, though, and I plan on trying again.

Bon Appetit’s Guide to What Every Kitchen Should Have: I love this list because it is simple and doesn’t focus on pre-packaged food. These staples mean dinner is always 15 minutes away. It does mean you have to cook (rather than simply heat up), which bothers The Teenager quite a bit, but that’s how things go.

Stocking The Broke Kitchen: Okay, so this one is a little controversial for me.  People have different ideas of what saving money means, and when I say “affordable,” I don’t mean $100. When I first moved to Seattle in 1996, I had $200 in my pocket. I managed to find a landlord who would take my deposit and last month’s rent on a payment plan so I could move away from a bad situation. So when I say “affordable,” I really mean like foodstamps-level broke. My budget for food was $25 a week, which I stretched by not eating breakfast and drinking lots of coffee with cream and sugar at my temp job. So I know from broke, as my Jewish grandmother would say.

Still, stocking a whole pantry with staples for $100 is pretty good.

Stocking A Bar On A Budget: Let’s face it: it gets dark early during the fall, and you are not always going to want to drag yourself out for a decent cocktail. But booze adds up fast, and if you are picky about your booze and want to drink the good stuff, your daily tipple can get spendy fast. Rein it in with this guide.

BONUS: Homemade Fireball Whiskey: Because life’s too short to drink something with anti-freeze in it

DOUBLE PLUS GOOD BONUS: Easy Dressing: Why not provision your closet with a capsule wardrobe while you’re at it?

So have fun stocking up, and tell me: what’s the one ingredient your pantry or bar can’t do without?