Month: December 2023

Chocolate Salami

Not what you’d expect, and everything you didn’t know you wanted.

Ho-ho-ho, bitches. The holidays are in full swing, and you couldn’t get off this train if you wanted to. Might as well lean in, call up a friend, and go hang out. Bring this as a snack, and all will be right with the world. It’s perfect for that liminal space between Christmas and New Year’s, when time is elastic and nobody knows what day it is.

I used this recipe, with some modifications.

  • Gluten-free animal crackers took the place of shortbread, and crispy rice was also gluten-free
  • I used unsweetened dried cherries from Chukar Cherries in Washington. I could take a bath in these things.
  • I have a kitchen scale so I utilized the weight measurements, but if you don’t they translate into about a cup each of the fruits and nuts
  • Mise en place makes the recipe come together very quickly
  • In hindsight, I would make two salamis. One was awfully big and difficult to handle.

(Insert off-color sexual innuendo here)

Serves 1-? depending on how long the conversation goes, how freely the drinks flow, and how many like white chocolate. Next variation will utilize dark chocolate and a different variety of fruit and nuts and be equally delicious.

Holiday Snacks: Toasted Cashew Hummus

From the very source.

Full disclosure: I am not a huge fan of regular hummus; it is somehow rather pushy, and I get sick of it after a few bites. But when my friend served up this incredible dip (and let me take a picture of her recipe), I was a wee bit converted. This stuff is AMAZING. Like, so creamy and delicious, with the cashews elevated by their brief sojourn in the oven. The spice is subtle and balanced, and people of all dietary stripes can dive in without reservations.

This hummus, though. THIS. it’s more of a sly wink than a gaping leer. And it was seductive as hell.

Toasted Cashew Hummus

Note: Make this hummus at least a day in advance, refrigerate, then allow to come to room temperature before serving.

Ingredients

1 cup jumbo cashews, roasted in sea salt

2 garlic cloves

3/4 cup water

1/4 cup tahini

2 tablespoons fresh lime juice

1 teaspoon ground cumin

1 can chickpeas, rinsed and drained

2 teaspoons chopped fresh cilantro

Method

Preheat oven to 350 degrees

Spread cashews in a shallow baking pan and toast for approximately seven minutes, stirring occasionally. Cool.

Pulse garlic in food processor until minced. Add all other ingredients, including cashews, and mix until smooth. Chill overnight, then bring to room temperature and serve with chopped cilantro.

I like it with anything gluten-free, but it’s hummus, for god’s sake, and should not be taken too seriously.

Off Topic: Build A Better Bond: 100+ Ways To Connect With Your Horse

Yes, this is a blog with recipes, but it was also the place where I wrote stories about life until everybody decided that they just wanted a recipe and not a diatribe about Nona’s kitchen and the terroir of my childhood. So I stopped with the storytelling mostly, and poured my writing elsewhere, namely on Medium and then for the past two years in two books: Healing Where You Are: An Introduction To Urban Foraging (Akinoga Press) and my newest, Build A Better Bond: 100+ Ways To Connect With our Horse.

If you’re here for food, scroll on by, but if horses, foraging, or non-food-related writing are in your wheelhouse, click any of the links above to learn more.

All Hail The Dark: Butternut Squash And Caramelized Onion Galette

It’s decorative gourd season, motherfucker.

I hate making gluten-free crust, but a galette is a little different. It’s meant to look rustic, and a patch here or there won’t affect anything.

Add a no-stress crust with a luscious butternut squash filling, and you have a big slice of perfection, even when it’s not perfect.

Non-gluten-free people? Just make a regular pie crust (or roll out a store-bought one. Nobody is judging you in this season of dark and quiet).

Butternut Squash And Caramelized Onion Galette

Ingredients

Crust

1 1/4 cups gluten-free all-purpose flour (regular flour works, too)

pinch of salt

1 stick of very cold butter, cut into bits (or frozen and grated)

1/4 cup Greek yogurt (or sour cream, or regular yogurt)

1 teaspoon lemon juice

1/4 cup ice water (seriously. Ice water. Don’t skimp. Cold tap doesn’t work.)

2 tablespoons butter

1 teaspoon of salt

pinch of sugar (OPTIONAL)

Filling

1 medium onion, sliced in half moons

cayenne to taste

2 cups butternut squash in 1/2″ dice (about one medium squash, peeled, seeded, and diced)

2 teaspoons dried sage

1 cup shredded provolone cheese

salt and pepper to taste

Method

Make pastry first, as it needs to chill. You can even make it the day before.

Method one: Combine flour and salt in the bowl of a food processor and pulse to mix. In a small bowl, combine Greel yogurt/sour cream and lemon juice. Add butter to flour and salt in food processor and pulse until the mixture resembles cornmeal. Add sour cream mixture and pulse to combine. Slowly add ice water until dough comes together.

Method two: Combine flour and salt in a large bowl. In a small bowl, combine sour cream and lemon juice. Using a pastry cutter or fingers, rub butter into flour until mixture resembles cornmeal. Add sour cream mixture and mix well. Add ice water and mix until dough comes together.

Turn dough out onto a sheet of plastic wrap and press together into a ball. Wrap tightly and chill for an hour.

Melt butter in a hot pan and add onions, salt, and sugar (if using). Turn heat down and slowly cook onions until caramelized, about 30 minutes. Once caramelized, sprinkle with cayenne and set aside.

Preheat oven to 375. Line a baking sheet with foil (for easier clean-up. #Trust).

Toss butternut squash with olive oil, salt, and pepper. Spread in a  single layer on the baking sheet. Roast squash in oven until soft, stirring once. This will take about 30 minutes.

In a large bowl, combine squash, onions, cheese, and sage. Season with salt and pepper to taste, and set aside while you roll out the crust.

I use a piece of parchment paper to roll out my crust, as this makes for super easy transfer to a baking sheet.

Place chilled dough on parchment. Place plastic wrap on top of the dough (this keeps pastry from sticking to the rolling pin without adding extra flour, which can dry pastry out) and roll out into a circle roughly 12″ in diameter and no more than a 1/4″ thick.

Pile butternut squash mixture in the center, leaving about 1 1/2″ around the edge without filling. Fold the edges of the pastry over and pinch to seal any gaps. I use a bench scraper to pick up the dough so that I am not warming it up by touching it more than I have to.

Keeping galette on the parchment, transfer to a baking sheet and bake for about 40 minutes (check at 20) until the edges are golden brown.

Remove from oven and let stand for at least five minutes before serving.

Recipe notes

  • This pastry works for sweet fillings as well. Apple galette is in our future. Brush the crust with milk or cream and sprinkle with turbinado sugar before baking.
  • If your edges rip (as mine did), just make a patch with some of the other pastry.
  • If you happen to be in the grocery store and happen to buy those pre-cut butternut squash cubes and decide to use those instead of peeling and dicing a whole squash, consider that a win. Butternut squash can be a bitch.
  • An alternate method of roasting a squash is to cut it in half and remove the seeds. Brush flesh with oil and place flesh-side-down on a foil-lined baking sheet. Roast in oven at 350 until skin is easily pierced with a fork. Scoop flesh out of the skin and proceed with onions and cheese.