Month: March 2019

31 Day Social Media Fast: This Is The End, Plus Five Lessons

In which I skip out on Instagram and Facebook for the month of March but still allow myself the internet.

Ok, so technically I have not avoided social media completely this month.

I have been on the Instagram five times, once out of necessity but the other four out of something else. Boredom? Curiosity? Procrastination?

Unclear.

Whatever happens next (also unclear), I have learned the following five things from my month-long hiatus from the dark world of social media.

Thing The First: It Really Wasn’t That Bad

I am not sure what I thought might happen if I stopped regularly visiting The Facebook or posting to Instagram. While it’s true that I missed some birthdays, and I am sure some stuff happened that I might have liked to know about, really, I don’t feel deprived or like a piece of me was missing without Facebook and Instagram (I have two Twitter accounts but they were never the issue).

Thing The Second: I Gained Massive Blocks of Time

In the early days, I found myself with a surfeit of time, time I used to take three weeks off (still getting paid).

Yes, you heard that correctly.

By eliminating my consumption of social media, I finished all of the writing work I had on tap for March and the first ten days of April by the end of first week of March and have not written for cash in three weeks.

If I eliminate social media for just one more week in April, I can have three weeks in April off, too.

Huh.

Thing The Third: Social Media Often Makes Me Feel Bad About Myself

To be clear, this is not social media’s fault. But I do blame the Cult of Perfection that exists in social media for perpetuating the notion that everyone’s life is airbrushed beauty and happy families. Even the accounts that have hopped on the “I have social anxiety” bandwagon feature images like polished photographs of a single teardrop falling from a perfectly made-up eye (usually in some exotic locale).

As a person who regularly struggles with actual anxiety, I can tell you that this is not what anxiety looks like. It is sloppy and frantic and sometimes raging, and it most certainly does NOT wear makeup of any kind.

The pictures we post online rarely tell the real story of our lives in all of their messy, complicated glory. And because of that, I sometimes fall prey to Imposter Syndrome – who cares what I have to say? Who wants to look at my shitty pictures?

I have had to sit back and really evaluate for myself what, exactly, I am getting out of my social media, including why I am using it and when. If I am looking for something substantive when I log on, some version of connection, it’s probably best to go for a walk instead. Or take a nap.

Thing The Fourth: Social Media Creates A Lot Of Static

Social media is loud and does not leave much room in my head for other intellectual pursuits.

As my particular friend pointed out to me the other day, even when I am not writing (my own writing, as opposed to the mercenary stuff), there is a lot going on in my brain. There is work beyond placing words on a page, intellectual as well as physical work, and it is invigorating and draining at the same time.

Being off of social media for 30+ days has cleared the static in my mind somewhat. I never realized what shadows it left when I logged off – almost like the shadows burned into pavement and brick walls after the atomic bomb was dropped. While this may seem a dramatic comparison, consider the fact that routine use of social media triggers a threat response in the brain, especially if that social media is confrontational. This means that your brain is in a heightened state of arousal, and not in a sexy way, when on social media. We want likes and validation, and when we don’t get them, the let down has a physiological effect.

The static from social media has cleared. It’s quieter in my brain. This is helpful for not only creative pursuits but also in dealing with what appears to be my actual mid-life crisis (not the artificial one when Dane died, but god help us all if I live to be 96. No thank you).

Thing The Fifth: Well, General Last Thoughts, Really

I didn’t exactly miss social media. I felt more peaceful as I decided what news I wanted to catch up on and which to tune out (for my sanity) instead of passively receiving what came through my Facebook feed. Not having the tyranny of the “like” button and the constant metrics of success measured by social media made for a calmer month, too.

Side note: There are, of course, the metrics of this blog, which has far fewer subscribers than I would like and can be very, very debilitating to my self-esteem. That was in full force as I posted nearly every day and didn’t see a corresponding rise in readership. But as I am not posting to any social media, this is problematic. But I digress.

But at the same time, there are a few people I have connected with on social media that I don’t really know outside of the interwebs, and I miss those people.

Do I miss them in a real way, or just idly as a by-product of knowing them online? Hard to say. I have not had time (incredibly) to really reach out IRL yet, but I am trying to do more of that so that A) I don’t give into my agoraphobic tendencies, and B) I create a network of real human beings to counteract all of the strangers I can’t stand when I walk out of my house.

I felt less inclined to compare myself with others this month, and even with the ultra-shitty weather (So. Freaking. Cold.) I have been out to more readings, art stuff, and performances around town. This is a big fat bonus, and it has helped my writing.

Time away from social media (and the corresponding time off I was able to create for myself) has opened some things up for me, creatively, and I am anxious to keep pursuing those openings.

On the other hand, I have taken way fewer pictures this month than in months prior. Is it that I am not planning on sharing that holds me back? Is that a good thing – I get to be in the moment and not behind a lens – or a bad thing – another form of self-sabotage? Hard to say. I could have pulled out my DSLR and taken “real” pictures but also left that behind, too, this month.

I have not yet made a decision about Instagram, but I am leaning towards deleting my Facebook account. You can download all of your data before you delete your account (which I did), and I feel like it’s time. It’s only making me feel bitter and left out – like the outsider of the cool kids’ clique in middle school.

Thanks to those of you who have followed along with me. If you feel like sharing this on social media, that would be great – there are buttons for that below.

If you decide to take your own little break, I’d love to hear about that, too.

31 Day Social Media Fast: Day 29

In which I skip out on Instagram and Facebook for the month of March but still allow myself the internet.

I am bone-weary.

Maybe it’s still the transition of seasons.

Perhaps it’s the frantic rush of my baby bird as she sorts her belongings and packs for a month in Paris and then comes home to a new job and the search for her own place.

It’s certainly in the lingering illness in my lungs.

Maybe it’s saying goodbye to our old dawg and the grief that it stirs up. He was so related to Dane – Dane was Winston’s person, and when Dane died Winston never really recovered.

Sicily and I have discussed that we would really like, for Winston’s sake, for heaven to exist. If it does, he is eating peanut butter and bacon and sitting on all of the furniture there. We are not convinced that Dane is actually there, but we hope there are allowances for visits, because Winston would really like to go with Dane for a ride in the brown Dodge he came home in.

Go easy, Winston. Flights of angels sing thee to thy rest.

31 Day Social Media Fast: Day 28

In which I skip out on Instagram and Facebook for the month of March but still allow myself the internet.

Seriously delicious

NOTE: This blog first appeared in March 2017, and I am re-posting today because the recipe is just so damn good and it’s a good reminder, in general, of what life is like (see below the post for more on that). Enjoy.

Look, I know you’re busy.

You have places to go, people to see, and lots of stuff to do.

That’s cool.

But can you stop for just one minute? Maybe two, if you read slowly?

I just saw this on the interwebs, Purveyor of Many Things Great and Terrible, and I feel like maybe you (yes, YOU), need to read this today.

You will, of course, need a snack.

It is, as you may realize, the tail end of citrus season. When I was growing up, my parents would ship my brother and I off, solo, to family in Miami over the holidays. We would leave a cold, sleety, dark place and be discharged from an airplane into balmy, breezy air and a week of (often) unchaperoned adventures in either my grandparents’ development or my cousin’s apartment complex.

There was a kumquat tree in the front yard of my grandmother’s house.

Kumquats. Even the name is exotic and unusual and complex and way sunnier than this past week has been, and I’m not just talking about the weather.

They are the strangest citrus; you eat the whole thing. Nearly every website that talks about kumquats has a click-baity title like “The one astonishing thing about kumquats,” or “The strangely counterintuitive thing to do with kumquats,” as if kumquats are somehow built into our intuition about things in general.

But I digress.

Kumquats start out mouth-puckeringly tart, with less bitterness in the peel and pith (sweetness, even), and end up with a marvelous caramelly sweetness that spreads over your tongue and completely erases the initial tart flavor. even slightly unripe or slightly over-ripe the process of flavor is pretty much the same, with minor variations in intensity.

I don’t know that we gorged ourselves on these, but I do remember eating my fill whenever I felt like it, or just mindlessly reaching up and grabbing one as I passed by the tree. Kumquats were as much a part of my childhood as any other memory I have that was good and innocent and as sweet and beautiful as the nighttime Miami breeze on my bare shoulders in December, a thousand miles away from home.

I saw kumquats again in the grocery store this week and finally grabbed a few after years of passing them by. As my birthday fell on the snow day, and I happened to have the will, the time, and the ingredients, this lovely concoction came about and emerged, damn near perfect, on the very first try. So simple and complex and utterly delicious.

Today’s assigned reading is below the recipe. For those of you in tl;dr mode, there will not be a test on the reading, and maybe you don’t want to hear some of what I have to say (beyond the food). So if you take it upon yourself to skip the reading and just make the snack, that’s cool.

I know you’re busy.

Honey-Roasted Kumquats With Homemade Ricotta on Gluten-Free Whole-Grain Bread

Note: Hell, YES, I made all of this. Not. Hard. Full disclosure: I was trying to just link to the bread recipe from America’s Test Kitchen How Can It Be Gluten-Free cookbook, but it’s not published online. Which sucks, because now, just for you, I have typed it all out. This took awhile. If you are gluten-free, you can send your appreciation in the form of good old American dollars because it was a royal PITA. If you are not gluten-free, you can skip the recipe and use any old crusty bread you like.

Unlike other recipes on this blog, each component is written out completely, and they are organized in the order in which they should be made.

Ingredients

GF-Whole Grain Bread (this takes awhile, so maybe start here)

1 1/2 cups warm water (110 degrees)

2 large eggs

2 tablespoons vegetable oil

2 tablespoons honey

11 1/2 ounces (2 1/3 cups, plus 1/4 cup) gluten-free all-purpose flour (I used my own flour blend, but see recipe notes)

4 ounces (3/4 cup) Bob’s Red Mill Gluten-Free Mighty Tasty Hot Cereal

1 1/2 ounces (1/2 cup) nonfat dry milk powder (in the baking aisle)

3 tablespoons powdered psyllium husk

1 tablespoon instant or rapid-rise yeast

1 tablespoon baking powder

1 1/2 teaspoons salt

Optional: 2 tablespoons unsalted sunflower seeds

Method

  1. Spray 8 1/2″ x 4 1/2″ (or 8″ x 4″) loaf pan with cooking spray. Tear off a sheet of aluminum foil that will fit around the loaf pan. Fold it so it is double, lengthwise, then forma  collar around the top of the loaf pan so that a double thickness of aluminum foil rises at least one inch above the top of the loaf pan. Staple to keep collar in place and set aside.
  2. Whisk water, eggs, oil, and honey together in a bowl.
  3. In a stand mixer with the paddle attachment, mix flour, hot cereal mix, milk powder, psyllium, yeast, baking powder, and salt until combined.
  4. Slowly add water and mix on low until dough comes together, about one minute. Increase speed to medium and beat until sticky and uniform, about six minutes. If using sunflower seeds, reduce speed to low and add them now, mixing until combined.
  5. Scrape dough into prepared pan and use wet fingertips to smooth dough into pan. Smooth the top of dough and spray with water. Cover loosely with plastic wrap and set aside to rise at least 90 minutes in a warm, non-drafty place.
  6. Adjust rack in oven to middle position and preheat oven to 325 degrees. Remove plastic wrap and spray loaf with water. Bake until top is golden brown, crust is firm, and sounds hollow when tapped (Side Note: I cannot tell when bread is done by tapping it. If you can, more power to you. But that’s the direction America’s Test Kitchen gives, so I am reporting for you. #YoureWelcome), about 1 1/2 hours, rotating pan halfway through (Side Note the Second: I forgot to rotate. Bread still fabulous.).
  7. Transfer to wire rack and let cool in pan for ten minutes. Remove from pan and cool completely for another two hours.
  8. Bread can be double-wrapped in plastic and stored at room temperature for 3 days, or you can slice it all up, wrap in plastic and store in a freezer bag in the freezer.

Recipe Notes

  • Flour substitutions America’s Test Kitchen recommends (but that I did not test myself) include King Arthur’s Gluten-Free Multi-Purpose Flour and Bob’s Red Mill GF All-Purpose Baking Flour, but King Arthur’s makes the crumb of the bread denser and Bob’s Red Mill is drier with a bean taste. Seriously, people. Just send me a note on the Let Me Cook For You page and I will give you a price for some of my flour.
  • Please, if you are a gluten-free baker, buy a scale. The best $20 you’ll spend.

Homemade Ricotta

1 cup whole milk (see Recipe Notes)

1/2 cup heavy cream

1/2 teaspoon salt

1 1/2 tablespoons champagne vinegar (or any white vinegar)

Method

Bring milk, heavy cream, and salt to a rolling boil. Remove from heat and stir in vinegar. Let sit until it begins to curdle, about 2 minutes, then pour into a strainer lined with cheesecloth. Strain at room temperature for at least 20 minutes. For thicker cheese, twist the cheesecloth into a tight ball to get even more water out.

Recipe Notes

  • Milk can be pasteurized, but not ultra-pasteurized. Ultra-pasteurized milk doesn’t work. #AskMeHowIKnow
  • You can discard the whey (the liquid that drains from the solid ricotta), use it to bake bread with, or give it to your dogs or chickens.

Honey-Roasted Kumquats

Kumquats, sliced in 1/4″ rounds, seeds removed (see Recipe Notes)

4 tablespoons champagne vinegar

2 tablespoons honey

Method

Slice kumquats and place in a bowl with vinegar and honey. Macerate for at least 30 minutes and up to four hours.

When you are ready to eat, preheat oven to 350 degrees and line a baking sheet with aluminum foil. Spray with cooking spray.

Place kumquats on cooking spray and roast for about 20 minutes until honey begins to caramelize. I didn’t flip them over, but I suppose you could if you like.

Recipe Notes

  • I used  kumquats that are approximately the size of a ping-pong ball if that ping-pong ball was more of an oval. There are also smaller varieties with different variations of flavor. For this, I used about six kumquats, but honestly? I could have eaten eleventy million more. So there’s that.

ASSEMBLY

You need bread, ricotta, kumquats, fresh basil, freshly cracked black pepper, and maybe honey and fleur de sel.

Slice bread and toast lightly.

Slather ricotta on toast.

Place fresh basil leaves on ricotta, then top with roasted kumquats. Add a few grinds of freshly cracked black pepper, and if you want a little more sweetness, just a wee drizzle of honey and a flake or two of salt.

Assemble your toasts, have a seat, and get to reading.

RULES FOR BEING HUMAN

1. You will receive a body. You may like it or hate it, but it will be yours for the entire period.

2. You will learn lessons. You are enrolled in a full-time informal school, called life. Each day in this school you will have the opportunity to learn lessons. You may like the lessons or think them irrelevant or stupid.

3. There are no mistakes, only lessons. Growth is a process of trial and error – experimentation. The “failed” experiments are as much a part of the process as the experiment that ultimately “works.”

4. A lesson is repeated until learned. A lesson will be presented to you in various forms until you have learned it. When you have learned it, you can then go on to the next lesson.

5. Learning lessons does not end. There is no part of life that does not contain its lessons. If you are alive, there are lessons to be learned.

6. “There” is no better than “Here”. When your “There” has become a “Here”, you will simply obtain another “There” that will, again, look better than “Here.”

7. Others are merely mirrors of you. You cannot love or hate something about another person unless it reflects something you love or hate about yourself.

8. What you make of your life is up to you. You have all the tools and resources you need. What you do with them is up to you. The choice is yours.

9. Your answer to life’s questions lie inside you. All you need to do is look, listen, and trust.

10. You will forget all this.

11. You can remember it whenever you want to.

These are not my rules; I am just reporting on them. What would you add?

31 Day Social Media Fast: Day 27

In which I skip out on Instagram and Facebook for the month of March but still allow myself the internet.

So it’s Wednesday now, and I have been back in the States since Monday, and I am still exhausted. I have a lingering cough from Canada, and it’s one of those that seems to make getting a full breath hard.

And on the flip side, my entire body seems to be seizing up. I taught small children yoga yesterday and nearly ripped my hamstring in the very simplest of forward folds.

Ah, this mortal coil.

Full disclosure: I spent a fair amount of time (about 15 minutes) on Instagram this morning, lured in by mirror glaze and ultimately repelled by ASMR videos of people eating crunchy things (which makes me want to kill myself).

I don’t miss Facebook at all, but Instagram has been harder. With four days left, I don’t know if I will stay off Instagram after this is done, but I am pretty sure Facebook is dead to me.

Also, side note, since this is, for most intents and purposes actually a food blog, I spent the good part of yesterday making fondant fancies, and, as the Brits would say, I’m fairly chuffed about the taste. I am baking for a teacher friend who is having a writing conference at her school, two kinds of fussy gluten-free treats, and this is one of them.

Still trying to live up to the “fancy” part of the name – right now they look like lumpy green rocks (which is the reason there is not a picture above).

I am feeling low today, for a variety of reasons that don’t need discussing right now. I think if I can feel better and maybe move a little my mood will lift, but right now I just want to lay down for a couple of days. My acupuncturist would remind me that transitions between seasons can be very challenging, especially for us windy vata folk, and I am living into that for real. Travel and crossing back and forth time zones, even just one, compounds the stress.

So I will try to be kind to myself and sit in the sunshine and move slowly like the tiny buds peeking through the warming soil. We will see what happens.

31 Day Social Media Fast: Days 25 & 26

In which I skip out on Instagram and Facebook for the month of March but still allow myself the internet.

Too late I realize that it’s better SEO if I call it a 30-day social media fast.

I spent $433 on my old dog today, $164 less than I thought it would be so in a way it’s like the vet gave me some money.

Essentially, the vet bought the old fucker one more expensive visit, but since the dog has been home all he has done is barf (five times, the reason he went to the fucking vet in the first place) and pant, so loudly that I am hiding in my room eating lasagna and watching TV so I do not have to hear it.

I am not a dog person, and yet I am saddled with dogs. If he was miserable, it would be easy to pull the plug (he is 13 and bumpy and sore), but every day Winston wakes up, thrilled to be alive for one more chance to adore us.

Anyone want an old dog? Asking for a friend.